Friday, September 17, 2010

I'm Getting an Election

A while back I posted on a website dedicated to my old secondary (high) school. There is a vast array of opinion on the site and it's populated by some very bright people. Some of the posts are extremely conservative and some quite the opposite. There were several topics that elicited opinions from conservative contributors suggesting that all the evils of the modern world could be laid at the door of liberals and liberalism. I countered with what follows and I post it here because it is election time in the US and the truly lunatic conservative fringe is winning nominations to very high office. Since some of the references are obscurely English I shall explain a couple of them for any Americans reading.

"Thatcher, Major and Tebbit" were leaders of the British Conservative party, hard right supply siders contemptuous of working people and the Irish (which isn't really relevant in this context but you have to say it, don't you?) The post to which I was responding had suggested that the "last thirty years" were a liberal hell in the UK when much of the time the government was, in fact, deeply reactionary and intensely moralisitic.

Brixton is a wonderful working class neighborhood in London with a long history of racial and cultural diversity and the very embodiment, for Conservatives, of the hrrors of modernity. I believe the first electrically lit street was in Brixton, memorialized in song by by Eddie Grant.

The last reference to "Michael ..." is Michael Foot, leader of the Labour Party, who ran against Thatcher and lost by a landslide. Here's a quote from him, proof that he was a man so far above the likes of Thatcher that she was not worthy to touch the hem of his garment, which was usually a very crumpled suit.

"We are not here in this world to find elegant solutions, pregnant with initiative, or to serve the ways and modes of profitable progress. No, we are here to provide for all those who are weaker and hungrier, more battered and crippled than ourselves. That is our only certain good and great purpose on earth, and if you ask me about those insoluble economic problems that may arise if the top is deprived of their initiative, I would answer 'To hell with them.' The top is greedy and mean and will always find a way to take care of themselves. They always do."

And, so, to the rant. Or faux rant, I suppose.

I've been racking my brain trying to think of a single thing the liberal leftie hippie layabouts have ever done. Couldn't think of a single one. Yes, there was that abolition of slavery but who really remembers that anymore? And full suffrage for all adults but that was fairly minor. Between those things there may have been the outlawing of child labour but now where can you get good cheap workers who can fit in a tight space? Of course some limp wristed leftie will say that some state funded surgeon who sponged off the taxpayer to get his medical degree put my spine back together through the National Health Service but as I remember it took minutes to get a bed pan at night when I really needed to go. Then there was that awful bloody mess of giving the likes of coal miners a decent wage so they could then go and spend that money on things other than necessities and so create the modern middle class and all that horrible stuff like decent restaurants, cinemas, affordable cars and television which just rots your brain and lets the bloody lefties advertise their manifesto and get votes by lying about all this stuff they supposedly helped us get. Like what? Government funded pensions? Since when did old people count? Unemployment benefits - get a job. Cheaper food, they say, by encouraging scientists to create better crops. How are we supposed to keep the Indians and the Chinese in their place if they keep surviving infancy? And I really don't want to hear another poncy pooftah platitudinous prat on the left tell me that equal rights for black people did anyone any good. Sure it created a black middle class and saved the economy of the American South, but what else did it do? It forced the police to start hiding the well deserved beatings the bloody coloureds were always begging for and now they have to do it all in secret because the bloody Japanese government went and subsidized the little yellow bastards at Panasonic and Sony and now everyone has a camera attached to their arse and even a well deserved beating of some recalcitrant negro yahoo ends up on YouTube. Yes, the last thirty bleeding years. Nothing but liberal nancy boys like Thatcher and Major and Tebbit and their bleeding heart let's all just be kind and caring and here's some money from your fellow taxpayers to start your organic commune in Brixton politics, followed by Blair and his namby pamby bombing of hundreds of thousands of Ayrab heathens who really should have felt a good shaft of cold steel up their hindu behinds. It's time we stopped people being allowed to put anything remotely related to rubber on their knobs. That's the real rot right there. Allowing people to have private lives. Yes, you can keep your governmental proboscis out of my nice middle class Tory voting domicile but if I even suspect that someone's shoving various parts up someone else's fundament I want everyone to grab a stone and throw it as hard and fast as you can because if you let that sort of thing take hold next you'll be saying that just because someone discovers that the person they met and liked when they were seventeen and up whose fundament they may well have been shoving any number of things in their perfectly acceptable man-woman hetero conjoining is now simply unbearable, well that's too bad. You're stuck pal. And don't be telling me it's a free society and you can choose whom you'll associate with and what about the kids, eh? Why do you want kids to grow up splitting their time between relatively calm households when they should be subjected to the pleasures of watching their incompatible mother and father lashing out at each other and belting each other with kitchenware? Here's where I really get upset. It's the education system. I'll give you an example. It's 2010. Subtract thirty. Now, you useless shower educated at faecal level comprehensives will never get that but I'll tell you - you just remember that just because the Catholic Church buggers little children by the thousand and denigates women and has a long history of supporting mass murdering fascists don't you forget that they subsidized my education and I now know both the Latin and Greek for Farmer - it's 1980. Yes. Thirty years ago this all started with the bloody commie Labour governemnt of Michael .... wait a minute ....


amy said...

you go john...quite good. I like it....agree with it to a certain point as well....

InMyLife said...

John, this is so good. And, so perfect for today. Thank you, friend.